Where most Goblin tribes formed a dangerous alliance with the dreaded Worgs, a few distrusted the fearsome carnivores and instead began an intense breeding program on more docile stock. There results were surprisingly successful, if a little ticklish. The new mounts required determined riders as they were prone to panic, but on the bright side the eggs were delicious.
I’m having difficulty putting together anything resembling a cohererent blogpost, so instead I’ll offer a challenge. Can you think of any oh-so-wrong (yet strangely cool) class and race combinations for D&D? I’ll take any edition for this little game, and start the ball rolling with a couple of my own.
Goblin Paladin (the Palagoblin)
There’s something instinctively bad about encasing a goblin in a suit of full plate armour. It’s like urinating on Lancelot’s holy name, or coating a roast chicken in chocolate (mmmmm!). But now you’ve got the mental image of a little biddy goblin head peeking out of over a solid steel breastplate, you want to play one, right? The idea of a classically evil race becoming a force for lawful good is a popular one, especially if it’s a half-orc under all that tin – but a goblin?! That’s the wrong kind of wrong.
And in a strange and twisted way, that feels so right.
Elf Barbarian
I’ll just say this: no one wants to see an oversized fairy in a loincloth.
But utter the magical word ElfQuest, and all that badwrongness fades away to be replaced with something that’s even better than good. A wrongness, righted!
Over to you. Gimme your wrong-yet-right race and class combinations. I wanna hear you.
Want this?
You know you do! It’s called GlassHoppa and is just $5 from Poser Direct. It comes complete with multiple textures, poses and this little fella too……
But that’s not all.
Most importantly: every cent you pay will go to Children in Need. Mr Sparky & co have donated their time, talents and skills to this for free and aren’t taking a single thing in return. I highly recommend you check out the promotional images at the bottom of the page – they’re 1,000 times better than my speedily done effort.
But that’s still not all.
Get it before midnight tonight then email Mr Sparky himself and he’ll send you 2 products from the store of your choice, all for free. So that’s three products (and servo droid) for $5, all of which goes to charity. Poser Direct is easily my favourite, best value store around and there’s no end of terrific vehicles, sci-fi props and more to choose from.
If you use Poser or DAZ Studio (or for that matter if you don’t and just want to give five bucks to a good cause!) I can’t recommend this deal highly enough.
Go and get it and tell him greywulf sent you :D
Now shoo!
Communique reads: It is only through the diligence of our noble undercover reporter that we can disclose the shocking news about Oprah’s plans for world domination following her retirement from mainstream media in 2011.
We can reveal that Oprah has taken possession of a flotilla of airships and is currently bidding on ebay for a horde of flying monkeys. She is not yet, thankfully, the highest bidder and is locked in a bidwar with someone who calls herself WickedWitchOfTheNorth466.
If successful, Oprah intends to proclaim herself Queen of the Skies and launch attacks on all Right-Thinking Folks from her secret Antarctic Base. You have been warned!
Figure conforms to the Ralph Lauren Photo-Manipulated Vision of Beauty patent number 666,666,666 (the patent number of the beast) and may not reflect reality or anatomical possibility
Oprah, Queen of the Skies, PL8 pp120
Str 10, Dex 13, Con 12, Int 22, Wis 18, Cha 18
Tough +1/+4 (Jumpsuit), Tough +4, Ref +6, Will +7
Attack +8, Defense +8, Init +1Computers +10, Craft (Chemical, Electronic, Mechanical) +12, Disable Device +12, Investigate +10, Knowledge (Earth, Life, Physical, Tech) +8, Notice +8, Perform (Chat Show Host) +8, Sense Motive +12
Eidetic Memory, Improvised Tools, Inventor, Master Plan, Minions 4 (Flying Monkeys, Camera Crew & Makeup), Equipment 4
Blaster (Device 3: Blast 8, Full Power) 80′ +8 DC23
Vehicle: Airship
If you wish to lead the fight against the Queen of the Skies in Mutants & Masterminds, generate a suitable team of four-colour two-fisted heroes around Power Level 6 and take to the air. Our blessings go with you.
(Blame deadorcs. It was his idea :D)
Caption contests are fun! A few days ago I posted this image and asked for your brightest and best captions for it and you guys delivered in spades. I thank you all. In the world of caption contestees, you are all winners.
But of course only one of you can walk away with the fabled no-prize. Such is the nature of contests, and indeed of life itself, I guess.
This time around the shout out goes to drow for this no-prize winning entry:
“Yeah, your sword is bigger. But can YOU find gems just by running through undergrowth? I thought not. Dumbass.”
I salute you!
Coming up next: More Long Term D&D pontifications, a catch-up on the Endday campaign, more about Why Teleportation Sucks and a super-special RPG Week featuring everyone’s favourite sci-fi RPG: Traveller!
Oh yeah. Stay tuned. Same Wulf time. Same Wulf channel.
Let’s hear them!
The best (and by best I mean funniest, cleverest, wittiest and/or downright geekiest caption as chosen my me) will win a super-special one of a kind never seen before no-prize which I guarantee is not available in the shops, anywhere.
So, if you want to win a no-prize, get commenting!
In other news: I have awesome, coming soon. Just so you know.
It’s that traditional time of year when countless folks from all walks of life dust down the old braincells and decide to take up the challenge of writing an entire novel – their novel – in just one month. Yes, it’s National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I guess the clue is in the name.
Me, I’m too damned lazy for all that.
Instead, I’ve set myself a much simpler challenge and declared it to also be National Twitter Writing Month (NaTwiWriMo). That’s 30 whole days in which to write at least one tweet. With 140 characters to play with that’s an average of 4.6 letters per day. I mean, how hard can it be?
Ok, it’s not hard at all. Since the beginning of November I’ve penned over 80 whole tweets already. And how many novels have you written in that time, Mr NaNoWriMo person? What’s that? None? I’ll ask you again at the end of the month. Try to keep up will you.
That’s not to disrespect the achievements of anyone taking part in NaNoWriMo, of course. Writing a novel involves commitment, dedication and is a personal voyage of discovery for each participant whereas writing a tweet…. well, isn’t. Twitter is one of the most misunderstood net technologies around (second only to Google Wave for sheer misunderstandedness (is that a word? Now you see why I’m not writing a novel now. I’m nesting brackets in a sentence!)) that’s 90% listening, 10% writing. It’s thinking out loud. It’s standing in the middle of a crowd and letting it all wash over you.
It’s nothing, nothing like writing a novel. And that’s a Good Thing. Novels are personal things, shared. Tweets are shared things, personalized. Novels last a lifetime (and the experience of writing one doubly so) whereas tweets barely last 5 minutes – unless they’re embarrassing ones that come back to haunt you. Insult a celebrity at your peril! And whatever you do, don’t call yourself an SEO/Internet Marketer or Guru ever, but especially on not Twitter or so help me I will hunt you down.
If you want to join me and have your own personal National Twitter Writing Month, follow me and write at least one good – nay, great tweet this month.
Everyone has at least 140 characters in them. Don’t they?
RPG Bloggers
