Lessons learned from gaming with a 7 year old

Never let them GM. Ever. Because they’ll totally wipe your sorry character’s ass, that’s why.

Case in point: today I crack open the D&D Starter Kit with my boys, and my youngest says that he wants to “play the bad guys”. Ok, says I, and hand over the dungeon tiles which he lays out with a large central room and several exits including one that leads to a long row of bookcases. He says that we need to get to the end bookshelf as that’s where a key is hidden that opens the other doors. Fair enough.

Except we didn’t even make it out of the first room.

He’d dropped a couple of Wolves in there to start with, which we despatch without much difficulty, then I (playing a Dragonborn Paladin) headed to a temptingly-positioned chest in a corner. Silly me.

Inside the chest, he said, nestled a Rat Swarm, and hiding behind it was a Stormclaw Scorpion. I’d gone through the bestiary in the Starter Kit with him already (incidentally, it’s an excellent low-level Monster Manual. Seriously) and he’s spotted synergies between the Rat Swarm and the Stormclaw Scorpion. Y’see, the Rats have an Aura that gives it a free basic attack against any creature that’s within one square of the Swarm, and the Scorpion has a Sting attack that Immobilizes foes. And they both have attacks that deal ongoing damage. The net result is within one round my poor Paladin is stuck in place, taking 8 hp damage per round and being torn apart by Rat’s teeth and Scorpion claws.

I didn’t stand a chance.

Meantime, my eldest (playing the Eladrin Wizard) is standing back laughing. Until they go and do exactly the same thing to him.

7 years old. His first TPK.

I’m so proud.

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6 Responses

  1. Hahahaha!

    Alex Schröders last blog post..I Play

  2. Cyclone says:

    Wow, your kid is smarter than I am. I hate your child, now that his deed compels me to thoroughly look through the entire monster manual for killer combos…..

  3. Greywulf says:

    @Cyclone Lol! Yeh. How’d you think I feel. He totally pwned me. Like, completely. I had to head into the Monster Manual and study the Rat Swarm and Scorpion entries and he’d nailed it. Those critters are made for each other, I tell you. Me, I’m out for revenge :D

  4. Chgowiz says:

    Great story! And what a great way to start. :)

    Chgowizs last blog post..We Game – Dark Ages

  5. Elton says:

    awe . . .

    I don’t have D&D 4, so I’m teaching my kids something simpler. When I have them. :) Rolemaster! :D Of course, I’ll have to use D&D Basic to get them started . . . ;)

    I wonder if one of them TPK the entire family with D&D basic . . .

    Eltons last blog post..Hiro 4

  6. Dawn Raven says:

    That’s great! I think your kid has a better sense of monster tactics than I do.

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