2006-02-01 2055 Opinion: Way back in the mists of time, before the F-Plan diet (the F stood for "Fuck this, anyone want a . . .

Way back in the mists of time, before the F-Plan diet (the F stood for “Fuck this, anyone want a pizza?”), the GI Diet (“Buy copies of Hello magazine to make yourself look thinner”), the FBI Diet (“We’re only spying on fat people so that’s ok”), the G-Spot Diet (“Have sex to lose weight”). Actually I’m still waiting for this one.

Where was I? Oh yes……..

A long time ago, people used to lose weight by counting calories. Now, calories are really, really small things that we’ve never seen, but they are very important. I imagine them as something like Angels, but with ugly consequences. I wonder just how many calories you could fit on the head of a pin anyway.

We were told that women needed 2,000 a day (calories, not angels), and men 2,500 (ok, it might be angels).

I turned over the sheet over paper that covered the tray in MacDonald’s today while burning my mouth on coffee.

Guess how many calories a Large Big Mac Meal is. Go on….guess.

Six thousand

That’s for the Big Mac, large fries, and a large strawberry shake, all in.

6,000. As a number, it even sounds big. It’s got a round sound to it. six tho-o-o-o-o-o-u-u-u-u-u-s-a-a-a-n-d-d. Enough calories to feed a small African village for a month in one convenient package. It’s three whole day’s nutrition for a woman, and two + breakfast for a man.

Which begs the question.

After eating all those calories, how come you end up feeling hungry again an hour later?

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